Testimonials

A Special Mother’s Day

By Patti

On Mother’s Day 2005 my husband Dave, daughter Allison and I spent the day at Great America. It was a wonderful day filled with fun and a perfect way to celebrate the holiday with my family. By the end of the day I thought that my celebration was over. I quickly learned, however, that my true celebration was just beginning when four days later my family received a phone call from Family Resource Center. We were about to receive one of life’s greatest gifts.

Dave and I had been working with FRC in September 2004 to expand our family through adoption. At the time we were interested in both the Ukraine Program and the Domestic Program and were encouraged to participate in both. Similar to many other families, we went through the home study process, filled out many, many, many forms, and started dreaming of travel to Ukraine. During the winter, our dossier was sent to Ukraine’s National Adoption Center. We thought that we simply had to wait for the Ukrainian Government to assign us an appointment, travel to Ukraine and meet our child. During this time our family album was also on file with FRC‘s Domestic Program. We had no idea how long everything could take in the domestic program – and wondered if we would ever be selected as adoptive parents by a birth mother.

On Thursday, May 12th I received FRC’s call, the call that changed our lives! Richard Pearlman was on the phone to tell us about a “sky baby” (one whose birth mother has not made a prior adoption plan) who had been placed with the agency. FRC was evaluating which options would be best for the baby. Richard presented the birth information to us: A baby girl, born two weeks earlier, was currently living with an FRC foster family. The birth mother had decided not to select the adoptive parents. Richard asked if this could be a child we would be interested in adopting. My heart raced and I was filled with joy.

Richard and I agreed to talk later in the evening. I raced to pick up our daughter Allison from dance class. I couldn’t reach Dave by phone, so Allison and I had to fetch him out of a meeting. The astonished look on his face is an image I will always remember. The three of us hurried home to speak with Richard about the child’s circumstances. Later that evening, we also spoke with the wonderful woman who had been taking care of our future baby daughter. We agreed to meet the next afternoon at FRC at which time Richard said we may take temporary foster custody of the baby until we decided if this was an adoption situation that would work for our family.

That evening our family’s emotions were flowing - joy, exhilaration, fear, anxiety, everything. We discussed names. We talked about the changes we would need to make in our daily schedules. We regretted that there were no diapers or baby supplies on hand. Then the reality of the situation sank in, especially for Allison, who became extremely reticent about the whole process. Her excuses included: This is a change from how she thought the adoption process was going to work; you are too old at age 40 to have an infant; and she was too old at age 12 to have a baby sister. As a typical preteen, she was very concerned about the impact this would have on her life.

More importantly, what would her friends say? Months earlier, I had discussed these feelings with an FRC adoptive mother who also has older children. She said that her oldest child behaved similarly to Allison prior to their adoption. But once their new daughter came home, their oldest and the youngest became very close. She said “not to worry”.

While Dave and I were very excited and anxious, Allison began to withdraw. She wasn’t prepared to have a change in plans happen so quickly. We had expected to travel to Ukraine, spend a few weeks there, adopt a toddler, and take a long flight home. Instead, within a few hours’ time, Allison would have a 2-week-old sister.

The next day at 1:00 p.m., we met Richard and Ben Friedman at FRC. Our soon-to-be daughter hadn’t yet arrived. While waiting in the conference room, it was apparent that Allison wasn’t thrilled with the idea. I was fearful that Richard and Ben might change their minds about our adoption plans, but they were very wise in the ways of preteens! In a matter of moments our daughter’s foster mother arrived holding the baby wrapped up in a blanket. All I could see of her were dark brown eyes and a head full of black hair. She was beautiful! Dave and I spoke with her foster mother, Richard, and Ben, and then we signed the necessary papers. It was time to take our new daughter Emily home.

What is most important occurred in the days and weeks that followed our daughter’s arrival in her new home. Allison fell in love with Emily just as much as Dave and I had when we first saw her. She realized that Emily added to her life in a way that she could not have imagined prior to having a sister. In the months that have followed, Allison and Emily have developed a strong bond. They both light up when the other is in the room. One of Emily’s first words was her version of Allison’s name. When Allison arrives home from school each day the first thing she does is find Emily to play. The first time I heard Allison bragging about Emily to one of her friends was such a heartwarming experience. These girls have become sisters not only in name but also in their connection through love.

This year on Mother’s Day, as on all days, my celebration will be for the joy I am privileged to experience by being the mother of two wonderful daughters. Both of our daughters bring us great happiness. I am proud of their physical and emotional achievements. One of the greatest gifts I treasure is the love shared by our daughters. It is a gift which will last a lifetime for our entire family.

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